I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
