he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
