I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
