No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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