My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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