Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
