never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
