She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Randomize
