I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
