Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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