I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
