drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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