make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
