We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
