I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
