You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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