What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
