So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
