i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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