oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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