ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
