I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
