Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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