Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
