shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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