Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
be right there i have to get my cape
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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