It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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