So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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