you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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