Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
