pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
