I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
party gras won. party gras always wins.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
