I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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