Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
