Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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