I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Please don't give away my fajitas
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
