Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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