Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
