What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
