He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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