i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
