Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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