Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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