Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
