I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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