So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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