WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
