and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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