im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
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