He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
