It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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