Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
