we're blogging at a bar
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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