critical mistake not lubing the nipples
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
