Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
