Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
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