I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
one two three fourrrrnication!
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize