Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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