I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
