he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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