We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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