pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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