I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
