Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
