Michael Bay diarrhea
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
