see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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