she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
