We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
